Thursday, October 05, 2006
I went, I partied, I'm back
I'm back. I'm back. (yes yes with a wag of my tail) Been busy lately, just cos I'm a dog doesn't mean I don't have a life beyond cyber space like some of you people. This week has been quite happening, especially yesterday (for the slowpokes, it was World Animals' Day, duh). So was quite busy with the various ceremonies and thought I'll let you people know the exclusive inside story of how I celebrated World Animals' Day.
It was all planned a few days back. We decided that the official ceremonies would take place in the morning and after around 6 we would just let loose and go wild. It is not often that we, the domesticated animal community of Colombo and its suburbs go wild.
It all started out with the general assembly, where all animals who could climb over and/or under walls and fences gathered. Children were not encouraged, majority were women who had left the children at home with the men. A journal that was distributed said that in the domesticated animal world too now the women are taking charge. Anyway the assembly started with a speech by a certain big shot dog belonging to one of the first families of the country. It was followed by a few more speeches (one cat, two birds who quoted maya angelou's I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and a tortoise who left his home 2 months back to attend the assembly and barely got there in time).
Then there was a small skit by a few guest artists, stray dogs from polhengoda and panchikawatte. I must say it was quite an eye opener for us pets who hardly ever see the real world. We decided not to include a lot of entertainment because this was afterall the serious part of the day.
A sightseeing tour had been arranged for dogs from outstation. I heard it went quite well except for that one time when a dog from Anuradhapura got lost near the Independence Avenue.
There was an exclusive lunch for yellow labradors (yes we discriminate among ourselves. got a problem with that?) and the fun began from there onwards. And if you're wondering how I got away from my family to take part in all this, well they decided to visit some property located far away, giving me the whole day free. The last time I attended Animals' Day activities was two years back but I just went for the children's party at that point. I just had to sneak out when the gardener opened the gate and the poor man was so relieved when I returned before my family that he didn't utter a word to my family.
Anyway, the lunch. It was a bonding session for all us single, ball-less males. We shared tips on matters ranging from how to stop yourself from licking invisible balls to how to maintain good libido. All in all it was very fulfilling. The girls and balls-have boys also had a good time but they ignored us for most part of the day.
The rest of the day was also for us dogs only (other animals can be so bloody tiresome, maximum 2 to 3 hours) and in the evening we all gathered at this one dude's place where he has a smashing bar of his own (yeah some dogs live better than you people). A few rounds of strong ones and there was such a rush to the garden to piss. One pug who was totally wasted pissed on the floor and fell asleep on it. After a few drinks I decided it was time to go home. Danced with a few chicks but ten seconds into each dance the girl tries to feel my balls and runs away in horror finding none (not even one men). And there was one wasted dude trying to mount me, refusing to believe that I'm not gay so I said my good byes and went home.
So that was basically how the day was spent, not bad for a dog eh? I'm off to have dinner so with a wag of my tail, it's good bye till I write again. But then again, Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna
It was all planned a few days back. We decided that the official ceremonies would take place in the morning and after around 6 we would just let loose and go wild. It is not often that we, the domesticated animal community of Colombo and its suburbs go wild.
It all started out with the general assembly, where all animals who could climb over and/or under walls and fences gathered. Children were not encouraged, majority were women who had left the children at home with the men. A journal that was distributed said that in the domesticated animal world too now the women are taking charge. Anyway the assembly started with a speech by a certain big shot dog belonging to one of the first families of the country. It was followed by a few more speeches (one cat, two birds who quoted maya angelou's I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and a tortoise who left his home 2 months back to attend the assembly and barely got there in time).
Then there was a small skit by a few guest artists, stray dogs from polhengoda and panchikawatte. I must say it was quite an eye opener for us pets who hardly ever see the real world. We decided not to include a lot of entertainment because this was afterall the serious part of the day.
A sightseeing tour had been arranged for dogs from outstation. I heard it went quite well except for that one time when a dog from Anuradhapura got lost near the Independence Avenue.
There was an exclusive lunch for yellow labradors (yes we discriminate among ourselves. got a problem with that?) and the fun began from there onwards. And if you're wondering how I got away from my family to take part in all this, well they decided to visit some property located far away, giving me the whole day free. The last time I attended Animals' Day activities was two years back but I just went for the children's party at that point. I just had to sneak out when the gardener opened the gate and the poor man was so relieved when I returned before my family that he didn't utter a word to my family.
Anyway, the lunch. It was a bonding session for all us single, ball-less males. We shared tips on matters ranging from how to stop yourself from licking invisible balls to how to maintain good libido. All in all it was very fulfilling. The girls and balls-have boys also had a good time but they ignored us for most part of the day.
The rest of the day was also for us dogs only (other animals can be so bloody tiresome, maximum 2 to 3 hours) and in the evening we all gathered at this one dude's place where he has a smashing bar of his own (yeah some dogs live better than you people). A few rounds of strong ones and there was such a rush to the garden to piss. One pug who was totally wasted pissed on the floor and fell asleep on it. After a few drinks I decided it was time to go home. Danced with a few chicks but ten seconds into each dance the girl tries to feel my balls and runs away in horror finding none (not even one men). And there was one wasted dude trying to mount me, refusing to believe that I'm not gay so I said my good byes and went home.
So that was basically how the day was spent, not bad for a dog eh? I'm off to have dinner so with a wag of my tail, it's good bye till I write again. But then again, Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna
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K-9, I’m dog-glad to see your blog, it’s such woofing therapy for me to know there are others with similar problems – being balls-less. Don’t get me wrong, my physical balls are very much intact, but it’s in my mind. These bitches come and dance around me and I know there’s something I must do, but I can’t do it; the exact thought eludes my mind in the most doggoned manner. Then the ladies get desperate and THEY climb on top of ME – especially this bitch who lives in the garage down the road. My family (adopted too) try to drive her away, Shoo, they say, Go away, get out, they say, paleyan methanin yanne. I’m not sure what the problem is, she smells sooooo good – all those good smells of free life – a heavenly mix of majang and mud and piss and cow shit – unlike me who smells like that damn red-capped shampoo bottle – and each time I’m just losing the sulphury smell and getting back to the good, they trick me into thinking I’m being taken for a walk and tie me to the gate and release the hose on me … it’s a dog’s world out there.
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