K9 Chronicles

So I guess I should tell you something about myself other than the fact that I blog.

I'm a Labrador Retriever. Yellow. Almost 4 years old which is around 28 in human years I think but if you take human years then I act about 4 which in dog years makes me........never mind.

My balls were cut off at an early age due to which I really don't know if I'm technically male or otherwise. I don't find anything erotic and it is hardly ever that I, well you know, at the sight of anything mildly sexually provocative. In my opinion my bum looks much nicer minus the testicles but I'm just saying it to make the best out of what is left.

I'm fat but apparently it's genetic. You've seen those labs on tv. They look like lard barrells and it is not because they are overfed or greedy but because that is how we labs are. We don't have to eat, we just have to look at food or just think of food and we put on weight.

About once a month it dawns upon my family (adopted) that I need exercise and then I'm made to run up and down the drive way till I lie down and refuse to budge. And just 'cause i sweat from my tongue doesn't mean I'm going to friggin' die. Everytime i pant a little they act as if it is the end of the world and especially the end of my life. And then there's the inevitable rush for my water bowl, glucose and one of those rubbery sticks called dog treats. But more about dog treats later.

I know little of the outside world. I don't remember my birth family because I came to my adopted family when i turned one month and one month all a puppy can do is sleep and he does that well. I HAVE been out a few times but after my family found a Vet(i) (Veti because she's female) who visits me at home, my outings have become limited to the point of none. Especially since I tend to leave a lot of hair behind every time I get into the car.

Not that I'm missing out on anything. Life here is great though Sri Lankans do have an annoying habit of lighting crackers at the drop of a hat. Sigh. Till I blog once more, ciao (with a wag of the tail).