K9 Chronicles

that I was adopted.

It was and will always be the most significant milestone of my life. Incidentally, it was also the day I found out that I'm a dog. My shrink told me it would be therapeutic to tell the world about it so here goes nothing.

For two happy years I thought I was the younger son of my (now adopted) family. Obviously I couldn't remember my birth family because I was adopted when I turned one month and at that point all I did was sleep. And one day when I woke up I was in a different house. I yawned and went back to sleep because there was nothing much I could do about it.

And now don't label me as stupid for thinking that I'm human. All the right signs were there. I was called putha, baba, malli, malli baba, ungi bungi (don't ask), etc and what was I supposed to think? My parents (adopted) spoke to me the same way they spoke to their children and don't tell them I told you this but they were much nicer to me.

And I had never seen other dogs. I had seen other animals but how was I supposed to know that I was also an animal? So I was quite condescending to most animals I met and no wonder I'm not that popular, even after I figured out why I could never stand on my hind legs for more than 5 seconds.

For the first two years of my life I was hyperactive. I didn't have time to consider my roots and family tree. And mirrors scared me so I never noticed how different I looked from the rest of my family. They applauded and encouraged me when I figured out how to sit on the staircase on my bum with my back straight. I guess I should have known that something was wrong somewhere when they tried to teach me that I should pee with a hind leg up. Just for the record, I still pee with all four legs firmly on the floor.

The day I found out that I was adopted started off like any other. (Yeah yeah I know I've read too many cheap novels but what is a dog to do when it has nothing better to do all day?) I had just had lunch and was getting ready for a quick nap when I heard my mother (adopted) upstairs. She was talking about my birth mother. Oh the shock, the horror. I went off Pedigree for FOUR days, the Vet(i) didn't know what had gone wrong.

I suppose she thought I was already asleep or she thought I couldn't hear her. Either way I heard it and for a few minutes I couldn't move. I was in a dream like stupor wondering if I had heard her right. But then, many things (like peeing with one leg up) began to make sense. And I felt that a missing piece of my life had been found. I felt complete.

It took a while for me to get used to being a dog. I never gave up any of my human habits but I did adopt some dog habits like licking my privates even if there was nothing much to lick there. I also started chewing shoes and slippers, this was recommended by my shrink and I must say it is working. Maybe some of you should also try it out.

All this confessing has made me a bit weak so I shall continue this at a later time. Till I write again, toodles, with a wag of the tail.